On Virgin Media - Sunday, June 14, 2009

The ironically named 'Virgin' is raping the internet as well as our supple, sexy wallets.

Take a look at what is being advertised on Facebook. Mindless Hollywood blockbusters, Lynx, expensive gadgets to be bought with daddy's money and anything else that can be advertised with a gormless internet reference or an even more skull-splittingly stupid bikini model. We are the target audience. The spoilt generation, exposed to too much sex and not enough violence. We are to inherit the economic, social and environmental problems of our parents, which amazes me, because we refuse to wipe our arses without Adidas branded toilet paper. We are the ironic generation, the generation that defies logic by laughing at itself and then, instead of learning from our mistakes, we become a parody of ourselves. The subtle, easy option. I expect that the art, media and literature our generation produces will raise the bar for apathetic wit. Not that it'll do us a damn bit of good when feet of sea level are boiled away. But who gives a shit about the end of the world, amirite?

Also, don't buy anything sold to you by Virgin media. They have way too many fingers in way too many honey pots and a few notable CEOs have let it slip that they intend to bollock up net neutrality as soon as possible. So we'll be like China a few years ago, with restricted internet access. But rather than it being done to preserve Chinese ideologies, it's being done so that websites which won't or can't give Virgin media cold, hard, cash will be shut off by bandwidth limiters. Virgin Media are the mafia of the internet world, demanding protection money. Even if Samuel L. Jackson is in the fucking adverts, do not give them it. Virgin Cola tastes like shit anyway.

EDIT:

I forgot to mention Rowntrees, which have also bought some ad space [there]. The hearty British company was bought up by Nestle, which is an exploitative clusterfuck at best. You like those tasty fruit pastels? Yeah? Good are they? Well suck it up, because the gelatin in them is made from African babies. Well. No. But the end result is pretty similar. Look it up.